Is learning necessary?

Once again, I'm ready to eat my own words. So if anyone other than the 3 who commented read this thing last time, they would have heard my big schpiel about letting things go in order to have a clear vision for the future. Today I allowed myself to put up a big roadblock for my near future, or so it seems at the moment(can't hurt to be slightly optimistic). As we all know I didn't have a job lined up for the summer as of the last post. Last year after the sweetest job anyone could imagine, I was taken on by my neighbour at the nursery he's in charge of. It was ok but i was glad it was only for a month. Today, my parents get back from grocery shopping and my neighbour is outside with his kids. My dad being very assertive when it comes to me not being employed, told him I didn't have anything. So my neighbour being the nice guy that he is offers me a job for the summer. Me realizing that this was a sure thing with decent pay decided to take it. As I sit back and think about how much I really don't like it there, I almost wish I could change my mind. Here's my problem with working there. They have a bunch, 20 i think, of Jamaican men come and work for like 9 months of the year. They also have b/t 14 and 20 sikh indians from Toronto come everyday. All of the other staff, all 6 of them, are white. It is an archetypal hierarchy. On the bottom are the indians because they are old, some are 70 and 80 yrs old, and can't speak english. Above them are the Jamaicans, all black guys. They can speak english but they talk so dang fast it is really hard at first to pick up what they are saying. Then there are the white workers, like myself and 2 or 3 others. The white supervisors are next, my buddy is one. Then Pat, then Steve, my neighbour. Everyone knows their place. Everyone knows, or learns very fast, how to operate within their niche and not cross boundaries. I find it very difficult and demeaning to myself and everyone else who works there to function this way. It does not take very long at all before your mindset is transformed to the order of things and then the arrogance sets in. When you start to feel like you are better than someone below you, you've got stop and think. The Jamaicans and Indians don't necessarily get treated badly, but it just shows in the way things operate how the place works. And know I start monday at 7am.

Enough of that, my first thought was not to accept the job. After I did, I had a few hours of being all quiet. Then I start to think of what I can fill my days with after work to take myself away from what I call the Cobourg depression Doing the same thing week in and week out. So i've had a few things on the back burner since exams ended. Summer goals you might say. Here's my list:

1. Rebuild my computer: this should get me nice and frustrated enough to forget about work.
2. Learn to play the guitar: About 5 years ago, a friend of mine used to have these Christmas dinner parties and afterwards my buddy would play the piano and everyone would sit around and bask in his talent. So i'll try to pick it up and see what happens.
3. Write a movie/mini-series: Whenever I talk about why I don't like Cobourg because of the "depression" in people my age, no one really understands. I'm gonna write and hopefully produce, albeit low budget, something that really shows what this town is like for my early 20s bretheren. Every story will be true.
4. Figure out why we have dreams: Ray tells me he's thinking about going to paris. Skip just got back from the virgin Islands. Pom Pom got to go over to Europe for school. Why the crap haven't I done anything?
5. Write a damn symphony or something. I've been toying with this for a while. It's now time to do it.
6. Produce another wedding video. Someone already asked me to film and produce their wedding memories. I'll see what I can do.
7. Learn Gracie Jiu-Jitsu.
8. Lose some weight and get back into the shape I was 6 years ago.


Hopefully I can cloud my vision with this stuff so when i'm actually at work I'll be thinking of something else. Luckily this work can be very repetitive so I can organize my t houghts during the day and pour them out at night. Right now everything just seems like piss and vinegar around here, and I'm not gonna have it. I watched the Naked Chef tonight for the first time ever. Now there's the life I would love. Fill my time with cooking for friends and whoever I tend to meet on the street. Frying mushrooms whose names I can't pronounce. On that note I made some killer rice pilaf tonight. Give me a shout. Or better yet, come to cobourg and i'll buy you some dairy queen.

the east alumnist,
J to the R O C